Scorpio next week horoscope

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Now you will need contact with nature to relax and distance yourself from everyday problems. Even if you do not like this form of relaxation very much, it is worth going on a trip to the forest or to the mountains or to the lake and admire its beauty and peace for a moment. In the second half of the week you will be looking for adventures to do something extraordinary.

The weekend promises to be away from home. Be careful.

Daily horoscope Scorpio : May 5, 2024 (Sunday)

Scorpio this week horoscope

Tarot online

Love horoscope

Scorpio - love horoscope for next week

The weekend is going to be interesting. You have a chance to spend it with your partner for a romantic dinner or have a good time. Single people on the weekend have a chance to meet someone special.

Your next week love chart : 100%

Finance horoscope

Scorpio - next week finance horoscope

If you are looking for a good insurance, there will be a few offers this week. If you are selling a house, flat or car, get a good price and avoid pressure from buyers. If you are interested in works of art or antiques, this week will bring some interesting suggestions.

Lucky numbers

Lucky numbers for next week : 14, 17, 21, 32, 35, 48

Weekly horoscope

Favorable zodiac signs

Your favorable zodiac signs for next week : Sagittarius, Aquarius

Watch out for these zodiac signs : Gemini, Capricorn

Tip for next week : "Work until your rivals become idols." – Drake

Weekly charts

Scorpio - next week tarot

Your Next Week Tarot Reading :

The Nine of Swords is often a card about anxiety and fear.Look carefully at what you are worried about.Try not to blame people and situations for how you feel.Pay attention to your breathing - it helps to achieve peace.

Tarot for next week: love, finances. Description of the situation : presents :future, The answer to your question: YES / NO

read details : Nine of Swords

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Quote of the week:


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Joke of the week :
There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning. He told her that the couldn't help it. She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out". The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning. Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed Christmas pudding, mashed potatoes, gravy and, of course, a turkey. While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem. With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husband would awake. While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back her husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs to finish preparing the family meal. Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his normal loud ass trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom. The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him she had finally gotten even. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror in his eyes. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter. He said, "honey, you were right - all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you". "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well you always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."



Funny video for next week :